(As an
educator, I consistently think about ways to prove a point and involve the
learner. The exercise that follows is helpful in a small group setting or
counseling setting.)
If I were
asked to give my testimony to a group of Christian or non-Christian couples or
families, I would ask several questions. I would ask the couples and children,
if they were present, to answer them by writing the answers on a separate piece
of paper with no discussion:
ü
To the Husbands: List your priorities in
life.
Where do you spend
your thoughts, time and energies? Not, where do you want to spend them? Not, where do you think you should
spend them? Not,
where do you think your wife wants you to spend them? BUT
… what are your real
priorities?
ü
Then
I would ask them, where does God want
your priorities to be? What is the scripture/s that support this position?
ü
To the Wives: List
your husband’s priorities in life. Where does he spend his thoughts, time and energies? Not, where do you want
him to spend them? Not, where do you think
he should spend them? BUT … what
are his real priorities?
ü
Then
I would ask what does God want his
priorities to be?
ü
To the children: List
your father’s priorities in life. Where does he spend his thoughts, time and energies? Not, where do you want him
to spend them? Not, where do you think
he should spend them? BUT … what
are his real priorities?
ü
Then I would ask what
does God want his priorities to be?
After this
exercise is completed, I would ask the husband/father to lead the wife and
children in prayer to ask God that each family member will be open, loving and
receptive to the information shared with one another. Next, I would ask the
husbands, wives and children to honestly and lovingly share with the
husband/father their respective answers and discuss the similarities or
differences in answers. I would ask the discussions be loving and candid. I
would ask that each party listen first before speaking.
Next, I would ask the husbands/fathers what they learned from the exercise. I would ask them to discuss these insights with their wives and children. I would then ask the husbands/fathers to write down and give to their wives and children specific changes they will make to help them become the spiritual leader of the family as God intended. This should include how the wives and children can help them make the changes and when the changes should be in place. I would ask the husbands/fathers to seek Christian men accountability partners to help them be the role God intended. Finally, I would ask the entire family to commit these changes to prayer!
I only wish
that someone had had the courage to ask me these questions before I had the
traumatic experience of A CHANGE OF PRIORITIES!
It might have saved my marriage! May be this can save your marriage, too!